Thursday, May 07, 2015

Deflate Gate

Captain's log stardate 050715.0915:
  • News of the NFL's investigation into the New England Patriots deflating balls during the playoffs was released yesterday. They have no proof beyond a reasonable doubt, but the preponderance of evidence points to the Super Bowl Champions cheating. No shit Sherlock. Just about anyone with a lick of sense could have told that months ago when the balls tested positive for deflation.
  • Tom Brady is singled out from all the other players as most likely knowing the balls were deflated. Obvious since he's the one handling them the most and launching the passes, but what about the center? He would know handling them before snapping the ball. What about the running backs? They handled the ball and would be less likely to fumble. What about the receivers? They were the ones benefiting from the deflated balls making them easier to catch. Brady wasn't the only one handling a much softer ball.
  • What about the fucking officials? They are the ones who are most responsible for letting this happen. It is their job to test the balls and not let them out of their sight until on the field. They were the ones collecting the balls after the plays and placing them on the ground. They should be able to tell the difference between the two teams footballs.
It is the humble opinion of the Captain that the following be the appropriate punishment to restore confidence in the NFL:
  1.  That the Patriots be stripped of their Super Bowl championship and forced to give back the Lombardy trophy. This is the only way to make sure something of this nature does not happen again.
  2. The team fined heavily and their salary cap deflated for five years along with losing their first round draft pick for three years. 
  3. All coaches fined 10% of their salaries and bonuses from the previous year.  They should know better, or put a stop to it.
  4. There is no point in fining or suspending any player. The investigation does not carry enough burden of proof for punitive action and the decision to cheat was most likely carried out by someone higher up in the organization. They will live with the disgrace and humiliation for the rest of their lives.
  5. All officials working the games where the deflated games happened be fired for dereliction of duty.

3 comments:

Mysterious Man from the Shadows said...

Good points, though I do disagree on stripping them of the title. You are right to point out that other players and the officials should have noticed--no one else has brought that up as far as I know.

P M Prescott said...

Brady's suspension will be overturned so the team got a slap on the wrist. Lesson learned, don't play the Superbowl in an outdoor stadium in February.

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